


Be Wary of Sharp Claws and Beaks

by Lady_Kaie



Series: Igtober 2020 [26]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Boys Being Boys, Danger, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, I have no idea what to tag, Interspecies Relationship(s), M/M, Mates, Other, maybe offensive but not sure?, pure ridiculousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27210283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Kaie/pseuds/Lady_Kaie
Summary: Ignis and Prompto learn something very interesting about their animals.  They also learn that they do not always get the final say...Absolute shenanigans.  Purely for fun.
Relationships: Ignis Scientia/Reader, Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Series: Igtober 2020 [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948411
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	Be Wary of Sharp Claws and Beaks

**Author's Note:**

> Igtober 2020: Prompt 26: Sharp

Ignis had never run so fast in his life. Blood was pounding through his ears, his breath all but gone, but he didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. Polished shoes were pounding mercilessly across the grounds, long legs pushing for the stables like his very life depended on it. 

Four… three… two… one…

Ignis slammed to a halt and felt Prompto plow into him from behind which sent both men tumbling through the, thankfully, open door and straight up to the pen where the travesty was happening. Though there weren’t sounds of distress?

Shrugging the gangly blond off of him, Ignis got up off of the ground and made his way to the caged in bird. “Is it dead?” He would feel absolutely horrid if Calla had gotten into the stables and harmed a chocobo, especially Prompto’s beloved Fluffy. Even if she was the dumbest bird…

Prompto didn’t respond with words, he instead let out a woeful sob and clung to Ignis’ leg. “It’s worse! Calla…. CallaAAAHHHHHHHHH…”

“Calla is what you daft man!” He shouted at the blubbering adult who would not release him, much less inform him of what he was seeing. The only thing Ignis could discern was a disturbingly loud purring and what sounded like clicking…

Now, one of those creatures was Calla, but the clicking was beyond his comprehension. Thankfully he was saved by the stable hand coming inside and filling in the blanks. “Your coeurl is trying to mate with that there Chocobo.”

Ignis finally got Prompto off of his leg with a sharp kick and turned toward the stable hand with an incredulous look on his face. “I’m sorry but would you be willing to run that by me one more time?”

“Sure.” THe man sucked his teeth with a long draw before he began to explain the scene that Prompto was still sobbing over. “You see your coeurl has been coming in here, bringing little gifts to Fluffy. Fluffy accepted and let Calla into her stable. Now they’re …” He pointed even though Ignis couldn’t see, “They’re doing that.”

“And what is that?” Ignis turned his features toward Prompto, waiting expectantly. The man couldn’t bring himself to speak. Ignis nearly lost his temper, but thankfully the old man filled in the blanks. 

“Well… Calla has mounted Fluffy.”

Mounted? But his coeurl was a female…

And Fluffy was also a female. Not only that but they didnt mate in the same ways! Chocobos laid eggs…

Alright Ignis… that is quite enough energy being expended on that topic.

Clearing his throat, trying not to laugh because Prompto was just starting to calm down, he quietly asked with a quirk on his lips, “You are telling me that my cat is attempting to woo this chocobo. And in essence my animal is a lesbian.”

“That’s the long and short of it.”

“Very good.” Now that that was squared away, the advisor turned toward his very distraught friend who had managed to get himself somewhat pulled together and was standing beside him. “Prompto, angel…”

“No Iggy!” The blond bit out, shaking his head in denial. “Fluffy is meant to be pure! She’s barely even two. And then Calla comes in and woos her! No way! Tell Calla to pick another chocobo but she can’t have fluffy!” he huffed with a toss of his head that eerily resembled an agitated chocobo. Technically he didn’t have anything against lesbians because obviously he was gay, but Calla was a bad influence and he didn’t want Fluffy having a bad influence around!

That and he had finally gotten a damn chocobo after years of begging Noctis to let him have one! Now he was going to have to fight for Fluffy’s attention with Calla. No way! No how!!!

Ignis’ brows shot up at the clear disapproval in Prompto’s tone and this time he didn’t hold back the chuckle that rippled out of him. “Well at least she isn’t trying to kill Fluffy like you originally believed.”

Prompto let out a huff of complete fury, that forced a surprised ‘o’ onto Ignis’ lips. “No way Ignis. This is not better! Fluffy and I were starting to ride finally! And now she’s going to want to be with Calla all the time!”

Technically the advisor could not argue because Calla was painfully territorial. No one could approach his children unless she decided it was acceptable. In fact, each morning she walked them to school, and in the evening she picked them up and walked them to the shop where they waited for one of their parents to arrive. Uncle Ravus prepared their snack and helped them with their homework.

So if Calla truly wanted to mate with Fluffy, then she would become very possessive. A sharp ‘kweh’ was loosed from inside the stable and Prompto nearly leapt over it. “That’s enough! Ignis get her away or I will!” Unfortunately, Calla heard this at the same time that she saw Prompto leap up onto the fencing of the stable and lunged.

Ignis barely got Prompto pulled back in time to avoid four sharp claws that sliced right through his shirt but avoided his flesh. “Do not move Prompto!” What was he thinking! To launch himself into a stable with an infatuated coeurl! Was he mad?

Perhaps a little, but so was Fluffy. Much like Calla was protective of her chosen mate and her master that she had been positive Prompto was attacking, Fluffy had decided that Ignis was a danger and rushed up behind to peck at his skull. The rush of air shot through his hearing and he barely ducked the hit which caught in his jacket and sliced it clean down the right side. “Fluffy no!” Prompto shouted.

Calla growled and made to lunge again, but Ignis got right in front of her and took most of the hit, landing hard on his back with a sharp claw digging into his forearm. It went right through the meat and set him to shouting. “CALLA!” The beast ripped away and layed down on top of her master, nuzzling at him in apology for the wound but she kept her eyes on Prompto.

Fluffy had tucked Prompto in against her chest, feathers fluffed in outrage, as she kept her sharp gaze pinned to Ignis who was prone and being protected by her mate. 

“Kweeehhhh.” Fluffy called and if one could have put a tone to it, they would have said that she sounded sad and worried.

Calla let loose a mournful howl and a deep purr began to vibrate against Ignis’ chest. She only did this when she was frightened or deeply upset. Ignis sighed. “Prompto.”

“No!” 

Another purr and another desperate Kweh cut through the tense surroundings and Ignis knew they were in a losing battle. “PRompto, angel… they have chosen each other.”

“No. I already picked chocobos for Fluffy to pick for a mate! So I can have chocobo chicks!” By this time the younger man knew he wasn’t going to win, and he couldn’t possibly deny his gorgeous pale yellow chocobo her true love. Even if it was a coeurl and it was just so damn weird that a massive predator was in love with the predatee….

In what world did this happen! Obviously the same one where a King chose a failed science experiment for his husband. Sighing deeply, Prompto murmured, “You love her huh?” He turned to Fluffy, scratching under her beak. The reply he received was a light head butt and soft clicking noises.

So that’s where the clicking had come from! Ignis had never heard a chocobo make that sound. Perhaps it was a defect? Either way he wasn’t going to ask. Not now. “Calla… you still have duties at home.” Ignis reminded the large feline still holding him on the ground. Petting her lightly charged antenna, then back to her ears, eventually she stood up and helped him stand.

“I believe we should suggest some ground rules…”

“Fine.” Prompto knew he wasn’t going to get out of this, not now. 

Two hours later and rules were laid down for the animals.

**

Ignis walked home in silence with Calla trotting alongside him, pleased as could be with what had transpired, and when they reached the house, he opened the door and ran to get up the stairs where the children were preparing for bed.

“Heavens! Iggy, sweetheart! What happened!” His wife exclaimed, rushing the last few steps she had to take down to meet him where she quickly inspected his wrapped arm. He had stopped by the medical ward to see to the wound before coming home.

Shaking his head to indicate she did not have to worry, Ignis pulled his wife in close and kissed her. Arm gauged, coat ruined, but he was in one piece and that’s what mattered. “Do not worry my love. I’m fine. Just be aware that our cat is a lesbian and has a chocobo for a mate.”

“What!” She pulled back and looked up to her husbands face in some amount of shock before reality hit her. “Fluffy?”

“Yes.”

“Ahhhh… that’s why she’s been coming back with feathers in her fur.” That and that bird wasn’t quite right. Not that she had the heart to tell Prompto that because to him she was perfect, but she was quite eccentric. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but he wasn’t ever going to be able to mate her. She didn’t like male chocobos.

“Indeed.” Ignis chuckled, beyond grateful to this woman for such quick understanding. “If I ever have to go separate them, I’m going to need thicker clothes. I forgot how sharp a chocobo’s beak was.”

“How’s Prompto taking it?” She asked softly, wrapping her hand around his back to escort them up the stairs.

“”He’s not. He is convinced that Calla is a bad influence and is going to defile his baby.” Which was amusing now that he knew it was Fluffy who had let Calla into her stable. Perhaps he should be worried for his precious feline?

Either way, they were the new couple of the group, and there was no changing it. Both coeurls and chocobos mated for life. “Which reminds me...we need to trim Calla’s claws. And Maybe tip them.”

“We’ll ask Flamma this weekend.” She said, pushing Ignis toward the bathroom while she went to tuck Cinis in. Peering into Flamma’s room, Calla was already curled up, listening to her evening story, where Cinis was already sound asleep draped across Calla’s back. The low purr always got him to fall asleep.

When the story was over, Ignis was clean and the children were tucked in for the night, Calla laid down by her little humans with a soft sigh and put her face atop the chocobo pillow that she was going to dream was her Fluffy.


End file.
